It was now 8.30am and I hailed a cab and crawled into the back two seats; pulled out the Lonely Planet and pointed at the bus station on the map, followed by my best efforts at pronouncing 'Giap Bat' in Vietnamese. The idea was of course to be taken to the bus station and board one of the hourly departures for Ninh Binh. I'd decided on using this initial destination as a base for exploring the Central Highlands of Vietnam. It would seem my taxi driver of choice had other ideas regarding manner of departure. As we approached what from a distance slightly resembled a bus station, we started to slow down. A quick glance up and the driver was now waving frantically at the other side of the road. "Yes, yes" .." I said matter of factly, "bus station please, drop me at bus station". To no avail, the taxi river kept shouting, pointing and was now beeping his horn. Strange I thought. What happened next I can only describe from the viewpoint and memory of someone who was reeling from utter confusion as to what was actually unfolding before my eyes. It quickly transpired that my driver was in fact point at a local bus that was screaming its way from behind and to our left, gradually drawing level; as it leveled with our vehicle my driver began exchanging quick shouts with a man hanging out the door of the bus. From an initial once over, I saw the was bus destined for Ninh Binh. That's all well and good I thought, however this isn't a bus station, its a three lane highway with unfathomable amounts of traffic bombarding the asphalt in both directions. Happy with my own rationale for rejecting this preposterous idea, the driver seemed to calm down and pull back into lane. I assumed we were now trailing the bus either back to the bus station where I could promptly board or to some designated stop at the side of the road. I was wrong on both counts. No sooner had they exchanged a few sharp shouts from across the highway, I found myself sitting in a taxi that was no longer moving, but stationary, but still in the middle lane of the highway. Whilst I was floundering around in the back of the cab watching approaching traffic like a lame duck the back door swung open and I found myself being half dragged half encouraged to get out the car and board the bus. Aside from the little issue I had with dismounting a cab in the middle of a full motorway in order to board a bus (that was still moving along, I can only presume the driver thought this would somehow encourage me to look at the task ahead as some kind of action adventure stunt), I still hadn't paid for the cab. Given multi tasking isn't a forte of mine in the first place, I felt paying for a cab, dismounting a vehicle whilst lugging my rucksack, avoiding the traffic and then boarding a moving bus was a little beyond my reach.
However, as soon as I'd sorted the fare, the traffic began to slow down, offering me a fair chance of completing the task. With a quick gesture of the hand from my taxi driver, the makeshift bus conductor moved into action and between the two of us, me moving through primal survival instinct, him, I suspect slightly bored of waiting for me to get out the car, we made haste towards the bus and boarded safely.
I once again found myself at the back of the bus and once my heart had been given a few moments to stop racing and the adrenalin rush had subsided, I took the opportunity for a brief nap. Ten minutes into the snooze I was awoken in an alarming manner; by being lifted clear of the seat, still in the horiziontal position, and then dumped back down. It would appear that neither the road nor the suspension on the bus were up to any good. The bus conductor approached and gestured for payment for the fare; I gave him 40,000 Dong (£1.5) and waited for the change, which wasn't forthcoming and instead he indicated he needed more money. I knew this wasn't the case and so requested the help of a guy sitting top my left. He was listening to music on the new apple phone; which I found a strange sight. He spoke English and was only to happy to help out. Fare sorted, change given, we were closing in on Ninh Binh and I was beginning to feel early morning hunger rear its ugly head. As we started to approach the edge of town, a young lad boarded the bus and made a warm smiling gesture in my direction. I guess this was his door opener to conversation; he offered to show me his hotel and by way of credibility showed me a recent write up in the lonely planet. Sounded great. I later discovered the man who'd helped with the translation on the bus had called ahead to his friend to let him know a tourist was coming into town. It worked out really well and saved me the usual 30 minutes of wandering around as new town looking for a room.
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